


Stuck In a Loop

by deviantgumiho



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Spoilers, angst but not really, hank needs help and it shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deviantgumiho/pseuds/deviantgumiho
Summary: Hank was tired of everything. In the past 24 hours he had witnessed his partner die and come back as if nothing happened way too many times to his likings. He just wanted this loop to end.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Stuck In a Loop

Riverside Park was silent, illuminated by the street lamps set along the railing and a couple of antique looking ones scattered across the little park. Snow was falling steadily, starting to pile up on the pavement and starting to cover a fresh trail of footprints that led to one of the benches lined facing toward the dark, cold waters of the Detroit River. 

Hank was sitting on the backrest, slightly hunched over and sipping on the first bottle of the six pack of beer he had bought after that disaster of a chase back at the Eden Club. He would’ve been lying if he said that that was the first drink of the night. At that point, beer no longer had a taste. 

Hank thought about how in just three days he had seen enough shit to last the rest of his miserable life. Three days of being exposed to unhealthy levels of stress without a moment to take a breather. Was it the fact that he had been not only assigned to cases concerning deviants, but also unwillingly got stuck with an android partner, or was it the fact that in the past 24 hours he had witnessed his aforementioned partner get shot in the face, utterly failing to play frogger on the Camden highway and fall to his death from a rooftop chase; in that precise order. 

Since Cole’s passing, there wasn’t a single day he didn’t think about his little boy and even though three years had already passed, Hank never really moved on. So now he sat there, reminiscing the days in which the two of them would come to this very park with Sumo and play for hours; and whenever he felt tears coming up, he’d take another swig of that cheap, crappy beer. 

Those weren’t the only thoughts inside the man’s mind that night. 

He was stressed. How many times again did he have to see his partner die over and over again? Everytime Connor died, Hank’s mind would yank him back to the day he lost Cole. Despite the fact that so far, Connor had been nothing but an annoyance to Hank, a little noisy disturbance in his looping daily hell, there was something in this android’s endeavour that made him somehow seem.. a bit more human. 

But Connor wasn’t human. It didn’t matter how many times he died, he’d still come back in pristine conditions like nothing happened, careless about the destruction of his predecessor and ready to start from where the other was interrupted. 

It was starting to dawn on Hank, that this die-respawn cycle of Connor’s, annoyed him a lot. It annoyed him because Cole couldn’t do the same; humans have just one life and Cole’s was unfairly too short. And for those who are left behind with the pain of their loss have to live on and suffer until their time comes, which was something Hank hoped to shorten as much as possible. 

Lately his favourite game had become Russian Roulette. He wasn’t scared to try his luck, the man had just about enough with his life. He was just playing that earlier, chugging down a bottle of whiskey and putting his life down the sights of his revolver. That night too, he had brought his own gun with him, hoping to maybe play there at the park too. Everytime, the probability of him blowing his brains out was 1 out of 6 but that session at home didn’t last long as he blacked out before passing out on the kitchen floor. 

After that was a blurry recollection of memories. The distant sound of Connor’s voice calling out for him, him being forcefully lifted up and dragged to the bathroom where the android made him sit inside the bathtub. He also remembered getting slapped really hard but in all honesty he was so gone that he couldn’t feel any pain, just got startled by the sudden impact. 

Then he remembered getting drenched by the cold water of the shower and that was when he really woke up, confused as he saw Connor standing there. After asking what he was doing there, the android proceeded to debrief him about a new homicide case at a sex club downtown, involving a deviant. It didn’t take too long for Hank to be convinced to investigate but he first needed to sober up and recollect himself. Once he was ready, he found Connor in the kitchen, examining the gun on the floor. 

“What were you doing with the gun?” he asked. 

“Russian Roulette! Wanted to see how long I could last.” Hank replied before the two headed to the crime scene. 

Thinking back then, he started to regret accepting the case. He learned one thing too much about deviants and how they were capable of love just like humans. Those two...girls didn’t deserve anything of what they were forced to do. After an initial altercation, one of the deviant Tracis had told them what they had to endure there, she told them how all that mattered to her was to return to her lover. 

Hank was surprised but started thinking that maybe those deviants weren’t that much different from him, from humans. They just wanted to live their lives in freedom. 

After that, things moved fast. Connor seemed to let them go but as they were climbing up the fence down the alley, he grabbed Hank’s service gun and ran after them before firing two shots at their backs. Hank let out a short breath he didn’t even remember holding as the bodies of the two girls fell heavily on the ground, thirium slowly pooling underneath them. 

On their way back, Hank didn’t utter a word and neither did Connor, his eyes closed and his LED rapidly spinning blue and yellow like a disco light. Maybe it was better that way as Hank didn’t think he could’ve been able to hold back his thoughts on what happened back there. He needed to vent down, cheap alcohol and fresh air. 

So now there he was, staring into the distance where the lights of the city on the other side of the Canadian border shone brightly. He heard the door of his car slam shut before muffled footsteps approached him. 

“Nice view, huh?” he paused, nodding to the night landscape in front of him and without really looking at Connor “I used to come here a lot before...” 

“Can I ask you a personal question, Lieutenant?” there was a hint of curiosity in the android’s voice. 

“Do all androids ask so many questions, or is it just you?” Hank joked but Connor didn’t mind him. 

“I saw a photo of a child...” he hesitated which took Hank aback. Seeing Connor hesitate was weird “On your kitchen table. It was your son, right?” Connor continued. 

“Yeah...” Hank replied, his lips briefly pressed into a line “His name was Cole”

Hank took another swig of his beer, two or three more and he would’ve finished the first bottle. Five more would be waiting inside the plastic six pack.

“Why are you determined to kill yourself?” Connor asked again, his curiosity levels were those of a six years old.

“Some things, I just can’t forget... Whatever I do they’re always there... Eating away at me...” he paused. He could feel Connor’s intense gaze on him, most likely scanning him but he didn’t pay much attention to it and continued “I don’t have the guts to pull the trigger” he took another swig “So, I kill myself a little everyday... That’s probably difficult for you to understand, huh, Connor? Nothing very rational about it...” he finished as he emptied his bottle. One down, five to go. He was about to grab the second one when Connor made a remark. 

“You should stop drinking, Lieutenant. It could have serious consequences for your health” 

Hank scoffed before grabbing a second bottle “That’s the idea.”

Connor pursed his lips and assumed a frustrated expression before starting to pace toward the railing. “We're not making any progress on this investigation... The deviants have nothing in common. They're all different models, produced at different times, in different places...” he crossed his arms.

“Well, there must be some link.” Hank shrugged.

Hank mentally thanked Connor for diverting the conversation on the investigations. He didn’t feel like talking about his private life any longer. 

Hank watched silently as Connor was pacing back and forth, one of his index fingers slightly curled on his lips. 

“We know the deviants experienced… an emotional shock, a violent trauma or a sense of justice…” he stated. 

Hank tilted his head slightly to the side, diverting briefly his eyes from Connor. “Those girls at the Eden Club, sure had a reason to feel a sense of justice..” 

Connor stared at him, narrowing his eyes trying to read him “You seem preoccupied, Lieutenant… Is it something to do with what happened back at the Eden Club?”

Hank silently looked at the snow falling on the ground before speaking up. “Those two girls… they just wanted to be together…” he paused before looking up at Connor “They really seemed in love…”

“Nothing in their program allows them to love or desire anything” Connor replied coldly “They’re machines.”

Hank stared at Connor.

“What about you, Connor?” He asked before taking a swig from the bottle and setting it down. He then levered himself back on his feet “You look human, you sound human, but what are you really?” He asked, taking a step closer to the android. 

“I’m a machine, designed to accomplish a task.” Connor’s cold front didn’t waver even in his answer. 

Hank could feel his blood starting to boil. “Did you feel anything when you shot those two girls, fucking bastard?” Hank closed the distance between the two of them with another step, before shoving Connor’s chest “Or were you just executing some program?”

“I did what I was programmed to do. I didn’t have any doubts, if that’s what you're asking”

Hank paused briefly. A moment of calm before the storm. How could he think that the android standing in front of him right now could ever be capable of anything close to empathy, how idiotic of him to even think that. The time bomb inside of him was ticking fast towards the end. 

He pulled out his revolver and pointed it to Connor’s forehead. 

“I could kill you… and you would just come back as if nothing happened” He paused “But are you afraid to die Connor?”

Connor’s eyes diverted briefly from Hank’s face to the barrel of the gun, his LED steadily spinning blue on his right temple. 

“You can’t kill me, Lieutenant. I’m not alive.”

Hank could feel his anger building up with each stupid sentence that was coming out of Connor’s mouth. His finger on the trigger felt itchy, eager to finally put pressure to the lever.

“What will happen if I pull this trigger? Hm?” He asked, anger seeping into each word “Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven?”

Connor’s LED briefly glowed yellow before turning back to its usual blue tone. “Where does all your anger come from, Lieutenant? Some…unresolved trauma in your past?”

Motherfucker. 

“You think you’re so fucking smart” he hissed “always one step ahead, huh? Tell me this, smart ass.” Hank lowered his tone, almost in a threatening way. “How do I know you're not a deviant?”

“I self-test regularly. I know what I am and what I’m not.”

Hank dropped his head, letting the smallest sigh. He let the extended arm holding the gun fall to his side for a moment before lifting it again where it was before and pulled the trigger.

Connor’s head cocked back from the impact and Hank watched as his body limply fell to the ground, some thirium splattered around the bullet entry hole. He turned his back and went to sit on the bench again, grabbing again his bottle and chugged down more beer.

Staring at Connor’s figure, he felt conflicted. Part of him started wishing Connor wouldn’t come back again, but he knew too well that it will never happen, as long as Cyberlife gave him a purpose.

Hank was still holding onto his gun, a faint warmth radiating from it. He stared at it, contemplating whether or not to continue his silly game of Russian Roulette before taking a long swig of beer and bringing the gun to his temple and closed his eyes. 

He pulled the trigger, expecting the loud bang of the shot that would’ve blown his brains out...

Nothing happened. Hank kept his eyes shut and all he could hear was the loud thumping of his heart, threatening to jump out his chest any moment. He slowly opened his eyes and lowered the gun, slightly disappointed by the failed attempt. The man then checked the cylinder of his revolver to see where his probabilities were after this try but to his surprise, when he flicked the cylinder open, there were no bullets inside the chambers. 

Hank stares at it for a moment then at Connor’s body and it dawned on him. This whole time Connor was keeping his stress levels in check, scanning him and analysing every possible chance of Hank resuming his self destructive game. Connor knew that unless he did something, that last shot left would’ve killed the man. 

The idea of Connor possibly sacrificing himself for him, bothered Hank in a weird way. He looked over Connor again. 

“...Annoying prick.” he muttered before resuming this only thing left to do now — drinking himself into oblivion. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi there! I'm back with yet another one shot (woo!) which strangely enough turned out to be less angsty than what i had in mind bUT DON'T WORRY! i'll make up for it.. somehow. I hope you enjoyed this little comeback and i hope to see you again ^^
> 
> on a more personal note, i know, i know.. it's been a while since I last posted anything at all haha but life got in the way and sadly i couldn't find neither the time or inspiration to write but now.. i guess i can say that i'm back?? 2020 didn't really start great for anybody and in these dire times we need to keep going.. i guess? maybe try and reconnect with hobbies we couldn't carry out.. just to kill the time, you know? at least that's what i'm trying to do now that i'm quarantined at home lol it's actually been a month since i last stepped outside lol anyway, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy, see ya next time!


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